Darn Funny

I have a 92 year old friend and she is a riot most days.

Yesterday, she made a copy of an article that she reads to me (almost) daily.
She said she wanted to make sure I had a copy of this article because, "When I am gone I want you to laugh and think of me." Then she added, "I know you will be sad, but don't be too sad because I will be where I want to be. "

I was curious to know where she thought she would be so I playfully asked, "And where will your bucket be?" as I motioned up then down. She swatted at me and replied, "UP!"
"Just checking." I replied.

I hope you enjoy a taste of her humour! The original author is unknown.  This article was reprinted in the Record Courier, Gloria Prendergast's column. The original author is unknown.

1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
5. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again it was probably worth it!
6. Never buy a car you can't push.
7. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to
stand on.
8. The second mouse gets the cheese.
9. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
10. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
11. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
12. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
13. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some
have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.
14. Life is short. Enjoy it!